Dear Natural Healing for Women Community;
I’ve been waiting a very long time to share this story…this important piece of myself.
And it feels like now is the time because I’ve been sitting with it long enough. And because life is feeling enormously precious and possibly even fragile. Now is the time because we’re all being pushed to take a stronger stand for what we believe and who we are…and I’m feeling the push.
What I’m about to share feels like the most vulnerable thing I’ve ever brought forth in this blog. But it’s time to let you know…
Because somewhere out there, there’s a woman that needs my help – because of what I went through and what I learned along the way. It’s for her that I open this window into my own journey.
Here’s the breast cancer story I’ve never shared. If you’ve known me for a while, the first part will be familiar, but it’s the latter portion that you’ve never heard.
I was 48 years old and living in Brooklyn with a busy medical career, an almost 10 year old son, a practice in holistic gynecology as well as my own healing business – teaching women to delve into the underlying emotional and psycho-spiritual roots of their ailments, in order to find true healing.
I’d always been Ultra-Sensitive. I’d healed myself of so many issues throughout my life including bulimia and emotional eating, polycystic ovarian syndrome, depression, and the most devastating – Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – which left me with lingering chemical, food and other sensitivities.
And then, many years later – in my 48th year – I found this strange growth in my right breast.
Right away, I felt committed to understanding what this lump had to teach me, and why it had manifested. Remember, that’s how I approached illness in general, and what I taught other women to do. So this set the stage for all that happened next, after learning the growth was in fact Breast Cancer.
And here’s another thing you should know: I’d always had a deep revulsion for the medical approach to cancer. At eleven years old, I watched my grandmother suffer the devastating aftermath of her breast cancer treatment; left with a rare side-effect causing paralysis and chronic pain for the remainder of her life.
For years, I’d been reading up on alternative treatments for cancer, and attending lectures by herbalists and other alternative practitioners. But of course…nothing prepares you for what you’re really going to do at the moment when you’re told: “Yes, it’s Cancer…”
Here’s what happened for me: Intense fear, more than anything I’d ever experienced…followed by about 2 minutes of outrage along the lines of how could this happen to me…? Followed by a deep surrender to the process that was unfolding …
This gave way to a deep spiritual opening. I felt like I’d entered a vortex of divine guidance. It felt that everyone who came into my path was there for a reason. I saw divine guidance everywhere I looked. I felt guided to the perfect team of surgeons, the perfect healers, the perfect healing protocol, energy workers, and wise counselors.
My choice for surgery felt crystal clear based on my MRI results, and I wasn’t afraid or doubting. I knew it was the right path for me. During the five weeks that I waited for the surgical date, I created a mandala of healing around me, organizing remote healing circles with healer-friends from all over the country, and the experience was otherworldly and profound.
By the time I got back the pathology results, the tumor was less than half the size then was seen on MRI. The surgery couldn’t have gone more perfectly with clean margins and staged: 1.
This was just about the best scenario I could have hoped for under the circumstances. Most women with stage 1 breast cancer don’t “need” chemotherapy and other meds like Tamoxifen are optional. I couldn’t have been more thrilled, believing I’d escaped the horrors of medical treatment for cancer.
That is, until the receptor sites came back: showing an aggressive type of breast cancer, which has a greater tendency to metastasize. Because of the aggressive nature of the tumor, I was told that medical treatment was required: including chemotherapy, a drug to induce menopause, followed by years of anti-estrogens, and a year of IV immunotherapy.
I felt trapped. Because of my ultra-sensitivity, I knew that my body would have great trouble tolerating chemo and other medical treatment. I knew intuitively that I’d be one of those with “rare” side effects. Over the years, I’d heard many women’s stories of the devastating effects of cancer treatment – everything from “chemo-brain” to pneumonia to developing other cancers soon down the road.
I was distraught and confused. I’d already begun a very rigorous nutritional and herbal protocol to heal the cancer. But was this enough? I’d worked with healers to alter the trajectory of the cancer cells. But was this enough? The only information the oncologists were able to give me were statistics. I was given a 30-50% chance of cancer recurrence if I refused the medical treatment. Recurrence meant it would show up in my bones, brain, liver and/or lungs, one and a half to two years down the road. At that point, the cancer would be stage 4 – advanced.
At the time, back in 2012, there was very little information on the internet about patients refusing medical treatment for cancer. I read all that I could, but it wasn’t enough. I read the medical studies, but they didn’t address my stage along with the type of surgery I’d had.
Once again, it felt that my healing was in my own hands. And because I’d always believed in the unlimited power of the mind, I came to the conclusion that my answer for whether or not I needed medical treatment existed inside of myself. I had faith that my inner Self held the answer…better than any statistic, study or medical expert.
But how to hear the voice of my inner Self? Especially in the midst of all the fear and confusion? Since I’d been meditating from the time I was in my early twenties, and because I’d been developing my intuition for decades, and because of the support of incredible healers around me…I believed I could do this. I knew it was my greatest healing challenge to date, but one I felt compelled to take on.
There’s so much more to my story – and I’m actually in the process of writing a book about it! But just to say that I did come to hear the voice of my inner self and found my true answer for healing…and have lived to tell about it! And I’ll let you in on a secret…it involved NO medical treatment.
This coming February, it will be six years since my breast cancer diagnosis, and my health is the strongest it’s ever been in my adult life.
Here’s the message I really want to get out there: I know that there are plenty of ultra-sensitive women like myself that are diagnosed with breast cancer every day, and believe they have no options other than what the oncologist tells them.
They may not know that in life and death situations, a vast reservoir of intuition and guidance opens up that will lead them to their true answers for healing. They are probably not aware that this is their most important ally in the quest for survival and ultimately thriving.
I share my story because my life is in service to all women who have a serious medical condition – in need health and healing – but aren’t served by the medical community alone. And all too often, especially in cases of cancer and other very serious ailments, alternative practitioners simply defer to the medical model and medical opinion.
But I know that this is not in the best interest of all too many women, who like me, will suffer terribly within this system…as my own grandmother did, and intuitively knew, I would have as well.
So it’s important for YOU to know that I’m here for you and your loved ones – if you should find yourself feeling trapped with any diagnosis, feeling misunderstood and ill-served by your medical practitioners. I’m here…
The truth is that you have limitless healing resources inside of yourself. And you have both inner and outer guidance to help you find them.
Wishing you Peace and Healing today and Always,